Introduction to Authentic Allyship

If you are a white person and would like support in working through some of the issues that the video addresses, I encourage you to learn more about the Authentic Allyship Coaching Group.

[SELF-CARE: This video includes discussion of trauma from childhood, including abuse, as well as ancestral trauma. I recommend being gentle and kind to yourself while watching it, taking any needed breaks you need to for processing and integration. I also recommend watching it as a group, as a way to receive support.]

This video is an edited version of a live webinar I created for the Authentic Allyship Coaching Group.

Authentic Allyship is an approach to allyship that is founded on the idea that: allyship is NOT an obligation but a relationship. This video explores what allyship can be when it is based on self-compassionate principles of healthy relating.

Specifically, this webinar explores the concept of emotional self-responsibility, and how this is facilitated by self-awareness of trauma and self-regulation of the nervous system. There is about 25minuutes of theory and finishes off with a body-centered exercise to cultivate emotional self-responsibility as well as a piece of home work.

[Please read the ‘Notes’ below for further notes on the content, including acknowledgments of inspirations/sources]

Support my work

If my work touches you and you would like to support it, you can make a contribution below that nourishes you by filling you with hope, inspiration and other good stuff 🙂


On neuro-diversity, ability and self-regulation

In this webinar I talk about nervous system self-regulation as a core allyship skill. I would like to explicitly recognize that this looks different for everyone based on neurophysiology and other factors such as trauma.  I encourage a commitment to cultivating self-regulation that balances self-compassion and deeply honours the diversity of our internal processes.

Also, cultivating self-regulation is not a suppression of the body’s need to express emotions through acts such as crying. If anything it is the opposite. Self-regulation requires nurturing containers for feelings to be felt, seen and honoured for their validity. This will be explored further in future webinars and/or community video calls.


Perspectives on ancestral trauma as a cultural attachment trauma has been informed by my conversations with Tad Hargrave. He writes a blog called “Healing From Whiteness”

On shame, by who else, Brene Brown.

The ‘Body Check-in’ from the somatic exercise is a term borrowed from Bari Tessler, who is a somatic therapist that works with issues around money and shame.

The final mindfulness exercise in the video is inspired by the Hakomi Method.