A talk with Tad Hargrave part 2: Tone-policing and moving beyond right-wrong

  In part 2 of our recorded video chat, me and Tad discussed the issue of tone-policing and how we can move beyond binaries of right and wrong to navigate emotionally charged discussions around subjects such as race. You can check out part 1 here. About Tad Hargrave Tad runs marketingforhippies.com for work and write essays…

Read more

Dear white people: It’s your white privilege to react with anger to my compassion-based approach

One of the most surprising things to me when I first started publicizing my allyship nurturance work, which is based on the fundamental idea that allyship starts with an allyship to self, is angry opposition from white people. And I am not talking about white nationalists. I have yet to be spoken at aggressively by…

Read more

The reality of white anger and why we need healing spaces for white people

I’m writing this post today as I was beginning to launch my Authentic Allyship Coaching Group, a support program for white allies who are committed to healing their personal and cultural traumas. I had just announced the end of the test phase to my pilot group when a participant commented that they were looking forward…

Read more

Setting boundaries as a white ally: Why its important, why its challenging and how to do it ethically

NOTE: This post specifically addresses white allies but the principles are transferrable to any allyship relationship. Why we need boundaries: Emotional differentiation My understanding of allyship is that it is a relationship, rather than a one-way transaction. This means that principles of healthy relating apply, including enthusiastic consent and self-responsibility. I believe that these elements…

Read more

From white ‘fragility’ to white ‘vulnerability’: How white allies can honour their feelings and show up

Artwork by Jill Greenberg NOTES & EDITS: This article is a re-work of another article that critiqued the shaming of white fragility in social justice communities. This post is directed mostly towards my white allies.  ‘White tears’ is an ever popular word being used in social justice media these days. As a therapist I have…

Read more